An agile liar

I tell you, I am an agile liar, though I'm not too enthusiastic about it, it comes in handy sometimes...I don't exactly like it when I do lie though, it's sinning...I can lie without batting an eye, and some people can't even tell, because not a heart beat nor cold sweat appears when I do. I can play innocent for all I care. Not one single change in expression, ha maybe I'm a born thief or something, I can even climb fences and walls over 2 meters high, even imitate my parents signatures, if I wanted to that is. Anyways, my point is, I think I lie unconsciously too. These past blogs I've typed? They reek of lies, becoming a better person? Ha. I don't think I can even change myself, stop this, stop that. My feeble resistance to temptations and sin are futile. I wonder if I can really ever change? I truly want to though, or maybe not...sigh what a liar I am, oh I am. I can't even deny it anymore aha, maybe I'm even lying in this very post, who knows? Oh, who knows?...

A swamp, it reeks of an awful stench...

It hurts.

Siiiiiiiiiiiiigh........there's too much on my mind to actually type it all here on my blog. I wish this darn thing could just suck the thoughts outta my minds sometimes, too mad technology's not that advanced yet eh? Ahaha, well maybe it's better I just give a long sigh around here too. Feels better, kinda... Hey, have you ever wondered how it is to be free? Have you ever how it felt to be lonely? Not lonely as in there's no one in the room or something, but just....lonely. No one to trust, nothing to feel, nowhere to run, nowhere to hide. Gloomy world isn't it? No one cares one single bit even if you're hurt, sick, or even deppresed. When sometimes you kinda just wanna die right there eh? Sigh. It hurts. Ya know? It really, really hurts. Not your friends, not your family. I know I should be grateful and all, that I've got a house and food and all that. But is it wrong to just want someone that you can fully, trully trust? Someone that just cares about you, someone who knows you're in pain, or someone to share secrets with fully and share your joy and happiness. Someone to depend on? Maybe I'm just selfish. Maybe like my sister said, I'm just a dimwit...a crybaby, a moron. Ah, what a life...I maybe be tought physically, but not at all mentally, punches by some burglar hurts less than a lil injury by your sister, aha......sigh. Well that's enough moaning, though not to mention after thinking how no one cares about me, I thought about suicide, but ah well, I guess I'll live a lil longer eh?

Drowning in a lowly pond showered in the heavy rain...

Stressed, will or motivation?

Hey you know, I've been stressed lately. Well yeah I can understand people's lives always will have their ups and downs. But this duration of stress and gloom is way too long. Yeah yeah, maybe it's my fault, maybe it's not. I don't know. I just don't know. I try to catch up with what I'm supposed to do, but I end up procrastinating, and by the time I finally do catch up, I'm already late yet again and I have to chase after the new duties I have to do. I'm a school kid, and I'm a gal. For Pete's sake just lend me a hand someone. But hey, maybe it's some sort of trial I have to face by myself. It's no use just blabbing away for nothing too, while I'm typing this I have some major assignment I have to do too, jeeeze....When will the cycle stop?! Maybe never...

Well, the main point is, what can keep me going? Something to strive for, hope for, try for... Have you ever thought of that? What actually keeps you going? What pushes you forward? What purpose? A will? Yes, that's it. Some sort of fiery will, some sort of perseverance, something that just keeps you going...But really, what does? What does, for me? Why am I doing this? Why are you doing whatever you do? Why? Heh, sometimes I get motivated for a little while, but it's quickly drowned by more people getting in the way....I mean, when you try hard, and have a plan in mind to fix yourself, and someone ruins it, without any beneficial purpose, wouldn't you be mad? Sigh...what I would do to live a simple life. But I guess I don't, won't and never will. Well, enough chitter chatter, hope someday I find that fiery inspiration, something to strive for...

In a comic I read recently the main character once said this,

"I believe, everything I do and learn now, even though it may seem pointless at the moment, will be useful for me in the future."

- Negi Springfield.

I'm not exactly certain of the precise words, but the most important part is the meaning, you get the meaning? Then, why not we try, all of us, together, for a better world? A better future...

Glowing and sometimes shut, like a firefly blinking in the night sky...

*sigh*

Well apparently I was unable to get unto m blog for the last past 30 days or so...You can blame Opera on that! Argh. Well personally I like Opera, and it matches my desktop theme too...bleh. But the one problem is it won't let me log in things the normal way! My e-mail, my accounts, everything! I had tons of troubles on that thank God I was actually able to sign in and find other ways to sign in my stuff. Ah well, I'll keep that opera around for looks. Muahahha. So well, I'm back and ready to start posting forever in this tiny blog of mines! Hope someone visits someday...

Never ending rain....

Praying for Daylight~

Feeling cheery? I just got the lappy I usually use back! Ooooh yeaaah~ Praying for Daylight! Sing-a-long~! Prayin' for daylight~Ooooh yeaaah~ Dun, dun dun, GO!

( I dont wanna spend another lonely night oooh)
I’ve got the lights turned up
The door is locked, the bedroom TV’s on
Doing the only thing that gets me through the night
Since you’ve been gone

Prayin’ for daylight, waiting for that morning sun
So I can act like my whole life ain’t going wrong
Baby come back to me, I swear I’ll make it right
Don’t make me spend another lonely night
Prayin’ for daylight
(Prayin’ for daylight)

I made a bad miscalculation
Betting you would never leave (never leave)
‘Cause if you’re getting on with your new life.
Then where does that leave me

Prayin’ for daylight, waiting for that morning sun
So I can act like my whole life ain’t going wrong
Baby come back to me, I swear I’ll make it right
Don’t make me spend another lonely night
Prayin’ for daylight
(Prayin’ for daylight)

Prayin’ for daylight
(Prayin’ for daylight)

Prayin’ for daylight
Hoping that I didn’t wait too long
(I didn’t wait too long)
That this is just the dark before the dawn 

Deep in my heart I know 
That you love me as much as I love you ( you know i love you girl)
And that you must be lying somewhere
Looking up to Heaven too

Prayin’ for daylight, waiting for that morning sun
So I can act like my whole life ain’t going wrong
Baby come back to me, I swear I’ll make it right
Don’t make me spend another lonely night (dont make me spend another lonely night)

Prayin’ for daylight, waiting for that morning sun
So I can act like my whole life ain’t going wrong
Baby come back to me, I swear I’ll make it right
Don’t make me spend another lonely night
Prayin’ for daylight
(Prayin’ for daylight)

Prayin’ for daylight
I don’t want to spend another lonely night
I don’t want to spend another lonely night
(Prayin’ for daylight)
Prayin’ for daylight
I don’t want to spend another lonely night
Oooo, Oooo, Oooo, Oooo, Oooo
Prayin’ for daylight

Singing with the birds...

*Shrugs* Me?

Yar. Looking at Cally's post in her blog, I think, I should make one too. I tell you, I have this habit when I see people do anythhing, and anything at all that interests me, I always have this feeling that I want to do it too. She talked about herself, and maybe I should do so myself. Everyone's different afterall, we're all unique.

I'm 14,  a hazel-eyed, semi brown-brunette-blackish(more to black) wavy haired girl. People seem to think I'm older than that though, mentally, I don't know is it just me? Guess it's not a bad thing though, anyways! I'm pretty short, and shorter than a friend 2 years yournger than me, makes me feel short, maybe just "young". Wheee~ Hyper, crazy, and just plain whack, I hold my morals high and I really can't express my true feelings much, maybe I'll find a friend one day, someone I can just blow it all away, or maybe, they're already beside me, this is me. Fantasy entices me, sometimes I just crave for it, and I want to live in it, yet reality is reality, day-dreaming a life away, this is life. I don't know how to explain myself much, except for the fact that I use quotes for principles and thinking about thinking about how others think and beyond...I'm..pretty normal, well okay, I guess not. But hey, "one must be different to be unique". It's me, say hello to glorious shy but hyperly not shy, it's as if I have a split personality, that I control, and no one else.

I pretty much live in my own 'tiny-little-world'. I love drawing, reading, singing and all sorts of things you think I may not like, I just find it oppresing when people just stare at me. I hate comments. Well, unless I actually want comments at the time~ I'm stressed and anxious really, distressed and all that. But every time I seem to cheer up, bit-by-bit. God prevails. I just love him, and He loves us all back, including you. Yes, I'm spiritual, very spiritual, but I wish I wasn't just so sinful, I lie too much. Anyways, this post is getting very long to read, I'll just cut it short. Know me, find me, meet me, you'll see. Maybe I'll open up, maybe I won't, it's all in God's hands. It's all in His hands...

The clouds are slowly passing by, the wind is in its blowing gear...

Ant Invasion

You might think of this as the strangest story you've ever heard. You might think this is just plain fiction. But I tell you what? Believe it. Because it's all just so true. My sister posted a blog with the general details and heck here we go!

"Time: 2 AM
Location: Ashley's room
Victim: Sushi

Ant Invasion!!! Aymee and Ashley managed to safe the sushi from the clutches of the evil ant colony.

Currently...

Aymee and Ashley managed to rid of the evil anty troop of Ashley's room... but when they went down to the kitchen to the place where the sacred sushi have once been, the ant colony was all over the kitchen counter!!! Swoosh. Came the handkerchief that wiped evil of the kitchen counter. Yet, it seems that the evil ones are now scattered down on the floor! What did Aymee and Ashley do? They see nothing, they say nothing, and they hear nothing. Hopefully those pesky ants have retreated by morning before the parents suspect these two girls."

Simplicity <3

Hoping the ants don't come crawling back...

Har har har.

xD Owh man. I've been laughing like, "Har har har." All the time these few past days! Har har har har!!! Oh crud. R.O.F.L. Ngar har har har har~!!! ARGH!!! Noooooo. Har har har. Gah. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. Har har har har. Meh. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. Har- Stomp. Stomp. Stomp Stomp. Har- SQUISH. Squish. Squish. Squish. Phewy! Well isn't that over! Har- GAH. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!! Okay, you know what? That's it. I give up. *hiss*

But I sure hope I don't end up like my friend that laughs real wierdly. I mean, she goes like "Hihihihihihi." or "Khukhukhukhu", "Khekhekhekhe" , "Khikhikhikhikhi"and all the sorts. It creeps me out. Seriously. Maybe this is the virus she spread unto me! Gah. Har-gh... Must stop...evil laugh....now...I'm gonna start running away from it now. Har-ngh GAH. STOMP. Squish. Okay, it's dead now. Nyaha~?

Har har har, the evil laugh comes to haunt me.

Either stay, or turn over.

Well. My sleeping time was extremely messed up these several months, and without me realizing I completely flipped my sleeping time over. The cycle goes! School-home-sleep-wake up past 12 am-do homework and etc.-sleep-school. Over and over again! Hnnn...Har har har. Lasted a week it did, also including the fact that I didn't eat anything else but breakfast those days! Except on Thursday where I ate an extra Jco donut and today, which I just broke the fast and gobbled my lunch! Har har har, wheee~ But now, well...I'm back and I'm not sleepy in class anymore (well sometimes)!! Just made mem remember when I was talking to my mom once I got back home, "You either turn back and fix it, or completely flip over to get back." Ahaha. Nothing I say is accurate enough though, I used hand gestures and all that. Anyways, back to the point! Well, that's the moral for today and sayonara till then!

Sun in the night and moon in the sky of day.

Chapel: African singers!!

Anyways! After school here I am again to recall the African Singers Seven at Chapel time Yesterday! Well, they visited our school that day and sang some beautiful songs all right!! My heart burned with warmth, and don't laugh at me! But it was truly awesome!!! Soccer players they were, boys they were, but singers true!! Ooooh~ Lord God bless them well! Har har har~!! Owh man, after that my heart changed a lot! Proves giving your all pays off ne?

Sun over the sky and blazing over me!

*Shiver*

Back to post~! Urgh. I took a peek into Cally's new blog and I just randomly went to the music link she posted. It was a youtube video and I just nearly died of scaredom. D:!!! I hate horror movies. Let me emphasize it again, I hate horror [DOT] Great, now I forgot what I was going to post. Eeeh...I'll just have to rack my brain for it some time later. Let the tumbleweeds pass by while I do. Meh.

It's warmer now...it's really nice and warm...

Keeping up...

Hurm...It's weird, I have so much I want to post in my blog. Yet I never do. Ahh, I even think about what I'm going to write in it when I'm walking, but I keep forgetting once I reach home...You know, that makes me want a portable blog writer! Maybe I could just attach it to my brain or something (...or not)! Then it could just type it automatically and I wouldn't have to bother much. Well, since it's my fault I guess maybe I should put more of an effort in anyways! Ahahaha~ Yeah well, that's it for todays blog. Don't kill me!!! Blame my Dory memory. *cough*

It's cold...